Every man has wished to be their inner Don Draper or James Bond. You want to own it just like they do. Still, what makes such characters so legendary and inspiring? Confidence. That’s it.
I know, confidence is a word that’s been used too much and too often. We always get told to be confident, believe in ourselves, but how? How in the hell am I supposed to get confident?
It’s a whole journey
Building confidence is not an overnight thing. It is a trait that takes time and effort to develop, but is oh-so rewarding. I can tell you, every ‘’this one tip to hack your confidence’‘-style article is pure, utter, unadultered bull****. There’s no hack and no shortcuts.
Confidence all starts with you. You need to find what makes you unconfident and own it. Everyone has insecurities, but confident people know how to overcome and own their complexes.
Still, you might feel like you need some guidance, so here are my three pillars of building confidence.
By saying building indifference, I don’t mean not giving a hoot about what people tell you; people’s insights are extremely important in your journey to self-confidence. What indifference means in this case is to realize how none of what you do really matters. Yup, I know, it’s hard to realize it, but people don’t give a **** about you.
Basically, everyone wants to shine. It’s a pretty hard thing to envision, but everyone wants to be on top, so no one genuinely cares about others; it’s normal human behavior. What you need to understand is that nothing you do on this earth is of much importance. We are meaningless. We are nothing but animals, just like ants, apes or dogs.
Alright, I know, it may seem a bit too much. Your close friends and family do care about you. What I mean is that the general population do not give a hell about you, so do not worry about what might happen in any circumstances. Take the plunge, it’s the only way to become fully confident.
In the end, temporary moments of unconfidence are entirely normal. Still, try to always keep this in mind: Realize how small the Earth is compared to the universe. We are nothing but animals, just like ants, crawling around the world. We all die one day, and in a thousand years, no one will remember us. DO NOT be worried. LIVE. You have NOTHING TO LOSE.
*For this step, I highly recommend reading and practicing stoicism philosophy. There are may resources on the Internet to guide you in this practical way of life.
As counter-intuitive as this advice may sound, try your best to be uncomfortable.
Going out of your comfort zone means being confronted to new things. Being confronted to new things is really hard at first, but since humans are extremely adaptive, we get used to it quickly.
By going out of your comfort zone more often, you make yourself more comfortable in any kind of situations, which basically means being more confident.
Simply put, by being more uncomfortable, you become comfortable. Weird, I know, but we’re built like that!
Join this dancing class, ask that girl out, ask your boss for that raise, you have NOTHING TO LOSE.
There is nothing that has boosted my confidence more than working out.
Often, we tend to be self-conscious about how our body looks. By working out frequently, you not only make your body look better, but release hormones that noticeably boost your self-esteem.
Whether it is bodybuilding, weightlifting, cardio, yoga, HIIT, GET IN SHAPE! Getting in shape will be beneficial for both your mental and physical health.
*Team W.I.L.D.’s diet and workouts plans are excellent guides to get you started and help you attain your fitness goals.
All in All
Confidence is a slow and steady process. It’ll take time, but it’ll also pay off. Keep in mind that no one really gives a hoot about what you do. Get out of your comfort zone and get in shape! You have NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING TO LOSE.
Alright, now go out and get that public speaking gig done, ask, tell that co-worker that he’s a jerk (politely, though), or ask that girl out! You have one life to live, so live it fully!
Article by Simon Dufour, Fitness and Lifestyle writer at simondufourwriting.com